The holidays can be a challenging time for anyone experiencing grief. While the world around us seems to burst with cheer, lights, and festive gatherings, those who are grieving often feel a heavy weight of expectation and sadness. If you’re facing the holidays without someone you love, it’s important to remember: you’re not alone, and you don’t have to navigate this season perfectly. Here are some common holiday stressors for grievers and strategies to support yourself and your family during this difficult time.
There’s often an unspoken assumption that everything should be "normal" for the holidays, even if your world feels anything but. This can leave you feeling overwhelmed, isolated, or even guilty for not meeting others' expectations.
Invitations to gatherings and family traditions may feel daunting. Questions like, “Should we stick to traditions? Do we try something new?” can weigh heavily.
How do you honor the person who has died while celebrating the season? The absence of their presence is often magnified during these moments.
There’s often a societal expectation to ‘stay strong’, even when grief is demanding to be acknowledged.
Hosting, cooking, and baking can feel insurmountable when you're emotionally drained.
Give yourself permission to let go of perfection. You’re grieving, and it’s okay to prioritize your emotional well-being over holiday traditions or appearances.
If you attend a holiday event, plan a way to leave if you feel overwhelmed. For example, drive separately or let your host know you may leave early. This gives you control over your experience.
It’s okay to break from tradition—this year can be different. Here are a few ideas:
Talk to the people you’ll be spending time with about what feels doable. Together, you can come up with a plan that accommodates your feelings and needs. This might include a moment of remembrance or deciding on a quieter celebration.
Find ways to incorporate their memory into the holiday. This could be lighting a candle in their honor, setting out a special ornament, or sharing stories about them during a meal. Whatever feels right for you. Remember, it is also okay to be happy. This does not diminish how much you love and miss the person who isn't there this holiday season.
Remember: Christmas is just one day. If the thought of celebrating feels unbearable, it’s okay to skip it this year. Give yourself the grace to do what feels best for you, whether that’s scaling back, creating new traditions, or stepping away entirely. Grief is personal, and so is the way you navigate the holidays. You don’t have to do it all—or any of it. Be gentle with yourself.
Other Resources to Check OutWhats your Grief - A Grief Website for the Rest of UsMegan Devine | Grief Resources & Support| Survival Tips
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